Happy New Year's Eve

Well Hello My lovely readers wherever I'm finding you on New Year's Eve, whether that's at a party (in which case stop being anti social) or wrapped up warm standing in the cold watching fireworks or like me curled up in your room with Ben and Jerry's and wine and watching a movie with a friend! I hope you all had a fabulous Christmas, I thoroughly enjoyed mine, not because of the presents or even the food but because of the people I got to see and spend time with - sounds really corny I know but it's true.

As 2015 approaches and 2014 comes to an end it seems appropriate to look back on the year just gone and look forward to the year ahead.

So here's my super fast summary of 2014:


Well it's been a rocky road - and not the chocolate version sadly. 

I started off the year without much of an idea what to do next year and indeed with the rest of my life, having not got into any drama schools. Not what you call a great start to the year! However, finally turning 18 and being legally allowed to vote and do other things was a plus, and it came with a trip to Ireland, something I've been wanting to do for a long time!


I had my first experience of working on Radio in the spring with the Amazing Actors of Rising stars. 


And speaking of the fabulous Rising Stars 2 high points of the year were the making of our period drama film over Easter and the Premiere of our previous film 'Fear of the Unknown' in June.



June also witnessed the madness that was A-level exam season and August saw the sigh of relief at the results.

September was the exciting and nail-biting move to the Big City a decision that I haven't regretted and 4 months on and I'm still loving London, even-though the job and my course have it's challenges. 



With the move came the end of one Relationship but the beginning of many wonderful friendships. My favorite thing about this city is the people I've met and meet every single day!

And that leads us right up to Christmas and then to now! 

I'm very excited for 2015, there's something about London that makes you believe anything's possible. Next year I intend to turn a few of the red pins on my world map into green pins and take more steps in the direction of where I want to go.

So there it is. Happy New Year to you all.

Driving Home for Christmas

I'm Driving home for Christmas, 

Oh I can't wait to see their faces 

It's been so long 

But I will be there 

Listening to this song to pass the time away 

Sitting in Virgin's train 

Driving home for Christmas 

With a thousand memories 

I take a look at the passenger next to me 

She's just the same 

Driving home for Christmas 

Latte Lunedi

Good morning, I don't have to rush around as much as usual today so I'm treating myself to a honey and almond hot chocolate (it's less than 2 weeks till Christmas so calories don't count any more) and sitting listening to Christmas carols in Starbucks, making the most of the variety of coffee shops in London before returning to ashby and it's single costa for Christmas!

Now as much as we all love this time of year for various reasons, we also usually end up very burnt out, what with the deadline looming for shopping and wrapping presents, with money we really don't have and trying to get things finished before Christmas so we can have a proper break, getting everything prepared for the visitors we do want to see but don't have time to make the beds, clean the bathrooms and clear the clutter out the spare room! Add the fact that it's freezing and the fact that you're more than likely to has a cold and this time of year can be very draining. I've not even mentioned all the cooking there is to do! When we're burnt out we get irritable, annoyed by everyone from the stranger at the bus stop to your closest friends and family, sure on Christmas Day we're all happy and relaxed, but despite what I might say to make myself feel better about the cream on top of my hot chocolate, 10 days is too long to be stressed and irritated! 

So how can we change this?

Firstly I'd say set times to complete different jobs, someone once told me that if you give 8 hours to do the sprouts they'll take 8 hours, if you set 1 hour to do the sprouts they'll take 1 hour. (Miranda's mother would recommend doing a Christmas chart!)

Secondly allow time to pause and breathe in between and also to smile and wish people merry Christmas. It'll make you feel better and cheer them up too! 

Thirdly sing Christmas carols, eat mince pies and drink mulled wine or hot chocolate to get you in the festive spirit.

And lastly don't stress, stressing doesn't make time slow down in fact it does the opposite, the picture below might help, just work through your 'to do list' one thing at a time and try to actually enjoy the lead up to Christmas! 

Mince Pie Friday

Well good morning, it's Friday morning and now less than 2 weeks till Christmas! I was woken up this morning by the news of my cousins new baby boy, congratulations Shaaron and David Zach!The greatest gift for Christmas! 

It's got me thinking about family and how precious and important they are, whether related by blood, marriage or love and friendship, whether miles apart or snuggled up close. We're very blessed now for technology like Skype for being able to stay close to family even if they're a 100 or a 1000 miles away! But we're even more blessed that at Christmas we all come home and are able to be with the ones we love. 

This time next week my immediate family will all be congregating back at Ashby HQ from our various corners of England, and I'm very much looking forward to seeing all my friends again since we all went different ways in September.

Just an extra thought that came to mind; On the first Christmas, Mary and Joseph left their families but spent Christmas surrounded by their new family who were united not by blood or by marriage or even a long lasting friendship but by faith. 

Just something to think about over this festive time, I hope you enjoy spending time with your families, however you're related, and safe journeys for anyone who's travelling to be with the ones they love.

Latte Lunedi

Good morning, there's only 3 more Mondays before Christmas! I only realised today that Christmas is on a Thursday not a Friday this year! For some reason I got it in my head that Christmas was on a Friday! It now feels like Christmas is day earlier! 

It made me think though, how often do we get something so stuck in our minds that we believe it's certain and it takes several challenges before we actually listen to reason, and in my case get out the calendar! 

The mind is an extremely complex and controlling creation and it needs to be kept flexible and not get ridged, because that's when we stop listening and start making mistakes much more serious than mistaking the day that Christmas Day falls on! 

Yorkie Friday

Just 3 weeks today and we'll be eating turkey and stuffing and sprouts (I'm personally in favour) and parsnip and roast potatoes and cranberry sauce and Christmas pudding and trifle and cake and pork pie and cheese and croissants and chocolate and Yule logs and drinking mulled wine... And 3 weeks tomorrow we'll all be fat. But it's Christmas and it's universally acknowledged that Christmas calories don't count. For now I've swapped my Yorkie for the more festive (but equally unhealthy) option of a mince pie and Starbucks eggnog latte which is incredible! 

So how's your week been? Made anything good happen? 

For me it's not been a bad week though the traffic has been horrendous, stuck in it right now actually! 

Speaking of, I watched Love Actually last night (one of my favourite Christmas movies) - as you might have noticed from my lobster quote tweet. For those of you who have watched it will know that the opening scene is of the arrivals at Heathrow airport, and Hugh Grant  making the point that "love actually is all around". There is so much crap going in the world, every day we here about another murder or crime, it's so easy to miss love or forget it's there, because it's not news worthy apparently. But it shouldn't be like that! So during this Christmas period lets make a special effort to firstly notice the love around us but also to show love to those around us. Make Love 'news worthy'. 

Latte Lunedi

It's Monday again, the start of a new week and more importantly the start of advent and the countdown to Christmas! Only 24 days! I can not believe it's December already! Tomorrow I will have been in London for 3 months/13 weeks exactly! Where did the time go?!

I've got my thought for this week off one of the children's t-shirts I was hanging up to dry this morning which said: "make something good happen today".  I found this really powerful for some reason and I think that was because of the imperative; It didn't say 'maybe' or 'you could' or even 'try'. It was a direct command to do something, and I think we need that kick up the bum sometimes. 

Now, I could make this easier and say "make something good happen this week" but I find then we miss daily opportunities, let's be constantly aware of situations when we could make something good happen!   

Have a GOOD week! And resist the temptation to eat all your advent chocolate today! 

Yorkie Friday

I know Its no longer Friday morning but I didn't fancy a Yorkie for breakfast this morning  so I'm having it for lunch instead! 

Well it's Friday again, and only 4 weeks till Christmas! The weeks are flying by, which is slightly problematic when there's so much to do! 

We're into winter now which for me this has already resulted in a bad cold this week! So I'm sorry to say I've spent the week infuriating my fellow commuters with my constant sniffing and coughing on the tubes and buses, my apologies, and thank you to everyone for all your suggestions, there really are an endless list of cold remedies, some quite surprising!

My favourite encounter this week was with a lady I met on the tube and after I offered her my perch/seat on the tube we had a lovely conversation, and she recommended Manuka honey for my cold (I'm confirming this recommendation - and it's cheapest in lidl, for anyone who is also suffering at the hand of winter's weapon). It was such a nice moment occurring out of something so simple of offering her my perch (all the proper seats were taken) and being open to conversation, I'd also recommend trying this (as well as Manuka honey) because it could open opportunities or change your or someone else's day!

Have a good weekend everyone! 

Latte Lunedi

Good morning readers I hope you had a good weekend and feel ready for a new week, despite the yucky weather!

My challenge for this week is to do something that's out of our comfort zone's, this could be something big but more likely something smaller that we, for whatever reason, would normally chicken out of. 

I hate having regrets and I nearly always regret not stepping out of my comfort zone because there's always the question of 'what if?' Who knows the opportunities that could arise? Nothing ever comes of doing nothing, so this week I challenge me and you, when we find ourselves in a situation where we want to chicken out, let's be daring and see what happens...

 

Yorkie Friday

Well good morning happy Friday! It has been a crazy week, we're into the cold season now, and all the children I look after have been ill at some point over the last week! I'm stocking up on vitamin C so fingers crossed I won't catch it! 

I'm currently sat on the bus eating my weekly yorkie and looking back over the week, the high point of my week was when the youngest boy I look after gave me 2 if his favourite teddies to sleep with one night, to you it might seem silly or so insignificant but for me this was such a blessing, it was a sign of love, trust and acceptance from him, and really touched my heart.

I set a challenge on Monday to try and be each other's sunshine (sounds very cheesy now). I've actually found this week that other people have been my sunshine, especially when things aren't going right, it's made all the difference and spurred me on to do the same..  It's like the film 'Pay it Forward'. It always goes in cycles and it works the same with negativity too, but there's one cycle that's much better than the other! So let's keep being the sunshine (even and especially when, it's bucketing down with rain)!

Before I go I'm just going to post a little poem that always makes me smile and I hope it will make you smile too:

'I wish I was a glowworm 

Cause a glowworm's never glum

Cause how can you be grumpy when the sun shines out your bum'

Latte Lunedi in Londra

Well good morning my lovely readers I hope you are all well!

Now I know that I don't normally blog at this time on a Monday morning, however, in my current weekly schedule Monday mornings are when I have a few minutes to get a coffee in Golders Green between the 2 buses I have to catch. I alternate between Starbucks and Costa and occasionally Cafe Nero, it's very strange having so much choice compared to little Ashby de la zouch! Anyway I thought I'd turn this tine each week into a time to do a mini blog, a weekly segment which I'm going to call "latte lunedi in Londra" -I'm a fan of alliterations and Italian. As it'll be the start of the week, in these mini blogs will be either a thought for the week as my gcse geography teacher Mr Shepherd used to do, or maybe a challenge for the week.

At the end of the week on Friday morning I'm going to do another mini   Weekly segment  called 'Yorkie Friday' not an alliteration this time but it has become a bit of a tradition of mine as those of you who have seen me on Fridays over the last 2 or so years will know! As I'm continuing the tradition (especially now yorkie have brought out a peanut version) I thought I would write a small review of the week and as part of this would answer or reflect on the thought or challenge for the week

So now for the first latte lunedi in Londra:

For my first thought for the week I took inspiration from this quote picture I found:

As the days get darker and colder it's important for us to become the sunshine to stop us all getting S.A.D. 

We each have the extraordinary power of being able to light up people's lives and my challenge for this week is for us to do that for at least someone every day.

Small print: these segments may be dependant on available wifi 

P.s just realised how unhealthy these 2 segments make me sound! I do eat enough healthy things throughout  the week too including a banana for breakfast if you remember from a previous post!

 

I'm Back

To my Reader,  
I'm sorry I've been absent for a while but even within the early weeks of this new chapter, another chapter, one that was very precious to me, ended. This, I guess, is the way life has to work sometimes, you have to give somethings up in order to gain what's waiting for you in the future, and even though it might be incredibly painful to lose that, there's the promise of something better on it's way...

I have chosen not to write in my blog ever since the ending of that particular chapter, not because I haven't had things to say or to share, but because my Dad has always advised me, quite wisely, to not make decisions when you're feeling a strong negative emotion. I have 21st century-ised this advice to: don't publish anything on social media when you're feeling a strong negative emotion. I don't want to publish anything I may regret, not that I was planning on writing about anything so personal, however, our emotions have a greater effect on our words and actions than we often realise.

Anyhow, I have now been living here in this fabulous big city for over 2 months and there is a lot more that I want to write about. So, watch this space, more of my thoughts on this New Chapter will be coming soon...

The Butterfly Effect

Hello again! I'm writing soon because I wanted to follow on from my last post: Put into Perspective - http://rbayes-anewchapter.blogspot.co.uk/2014/09/put-into-perspective.html in which I wrote about how we are each just one person out of a very large population and the lives that we cross through brief encounters.

Today I want to write about how we should react to these brief encounter moments because believe it or not, we can have a massive impact on the people around us, both in positive and negative way. 

Last winter my drama group at college devised a piece of theatre with the "butterfly effect" as a very prominent theme. The idea that every time we interact with people, no matter how small and seemingly insignificant that encounter may be, it will cause an effect. This has been on my mind a lot over the last couple of weeks as the stimulus was the London Underground. For this play we explored the connection between the busyness of London and the 'London Lifestyle', and the effect we have on each other. For example bumping into someone and causing them to spill their coffee, could then make them late, therefore they might not get the promotion they needed which could be necessary to financially support their family... You never know.

While I'm here in London I want to try and firstly discover the truth of that idea, and secondly pay clear attention to what I do, especially the small things and become very aware that my actions have an effect. - The second part isn't just for London, and I hope that reading my post will make you think about trying this as well.

The truth is that we can not know the full extent of what our small actions may result in, because as I said in my previous post we don't know the names of the people around us so how are we supposed to know their stories. However, something that I think we can be sure of is that we have the power to cause brilliant or potentially devastating effects to those around us and the world would be a much happier place if we really made a conscious effort and tried to give a positive effect. A simple smile might be all it takes, or saying "good morning" could make someone's day, you don't know, that might just have been what they needed.

Think about it as you go about your day-to-day lives, especially on the days when you're feeling like crap, stop for a minute and put it all into perspective, and maybe just smile at someone, it might make you feel better too.

Put into Perspective

Hello there! I'm sorry I've not written in a while, I always used to be terrible at regularly keeping a diary as well, but it's been tough to find time to sit down and write. I've been here 2 weeks now, and I've pretty much settled into a routine (a very busy one), though it's very new and different from how my last 18 and a half years have been, I'm enjoying this new chapter.

Living in a city can be really mind blowing (for other reasons than the regularity of the public transport), Its really weird to see so many different people every day and realise; that they're all individuals and they all have a life. It's great at putting life into perspective. This is not a completely new concept to me and I'm sure it won't be to you either, but living in a big city really visualizes the scale of it. Standing on a packed bus or in tube carriage being surrounded by all those people, each of whom has their own: day-to-day lives, their own relationships, their own joys and their own struggles. 

It's amazing to thoroughly consider that sobering thought about two lives crossing paths, for that brief moment, maybe the person who bumped into you on a crowded street or the person who let you on the bus before them, or the person who pushed in-front of you. Perhaps it's a regular brief encounter, my current favorite of these is the man who lives a couple of doors down from me and we pass most mornings at 8.20am as I'm on my way to the bus and he's walking his dog, we both are usually eating a banana for breakfast. I don't know his name, or his story and he doesn't know mine, but we say "good morning" to each other and just for that moment two lives cross.

You might think I'm crazy for finding this so fascinating, but it reminds me that I'm only one person in a city with the popualtion of 8.3 million, and a world population of 7.2 billion and each one of those is a human with their own life and their own story. The link below is to a world clock, which depicts the true scale of things. Just something to think about.
Ihttp://www.worldometers.info/world-population/

The Dive

So hello again! Thanks for coming back! 
This is Day 6 in the Big City! And I have to say I am loving it! There's so much to do and see and people to meet and the buses come more than once an hour (even on a Sunday!) 
Yesterday I went to the V and A museum (Victoria and Albert) and it was amazing, definitely worth a visit especially the fashion and theatre and performance sections (though I might be a bit biased).

So today I want to share a little bit a wisdom that I can't take credit for because it's collaborated from things others have said and things I've seen etc but I'm going to add my own personal touch to it if I can. It's something that's really been on my mind and has helped me so I'm going to pass it on because it can help for the life changing moments and the everyday situations. 
Its all about our Comfort Zone, and I know it's really corny and its talked about a lot, but that doesn't seem to stop us remaining snuggled up where we're cozy in that comfort zone. Because we hear it, we think oh that's a good idea and then we're actually too scared to do anything about it! 

So first of all I want to depict the whole comfort zone "thing". I was hoping to find a diagram but I can't find the right one and my drawing's not great! If you like you may draw your version... So think of your comfort zone as a circle and in that circle are, surprisingly, all the things that you're comfortable with, so for example loved ones, your home, old hobbies, old routines etc. Then around that first circle is another slightly larger circle, this represents your exploration zone, so this is where you start to test and try the possibility of what's beyond your comfort zone, then at the edge of that circle is: nothing, or what we think is nothing.
A fantastic analogy for this, that I heard today, is a beach. The sand is the comfort zone, when you start to paddle you are starting the the exploration zone, and as you continue to walk further into the sea it gets a bit more terrifying because you don't know what you will meet, but eventually you come to a point where your feet will no longer touch the floor, that's the edge. I don't know whether you've seen it or not but the video below is a great picture of this.


The bit that gets me in this video is the moment before he dives and he waits, because that's exactly what we do, we hesitate and most probably we also chicken out.

See the problem is we limit ourselves, we stop ourselves. Sure we'll blame it on all sorts of things, not enough money, other people, shame, etc etc. But really they're just all excuses, what's really stopping us, is US. The only person that could have really prevented that diver from taking that leap into the unknown was him.

And look what happens when we do dive, when we take that leap! Because yes that jump off the edge of our exploration zone into "nothing" is terrifying, but it's also where miracles happen, where the excitement is immense and where we can grow. And looking at the whole picture we realise we would have been so stupid to not take that leap. I watched an episode of Dating in the Dark last night (as you do when you have an evening to yourself) if you don't know the show, 3 women and 3 men go on a series of dates in the dark and at the end they have to select one person to see in the light and then decide if they want to start a relationship with them, if so they go and meet them on the balcony, it's all about seeing if love is blind? Anyway 2 people had been getting along really well and they both selected to see each other and the woman went out on the balcony, the man wanted to go but he was scared that she wouldn't be there and he didn't want to get his heart broken. As the audience member I could see her waiting while he was considering leaving, and I was silently yelling at the screen because if only he would take that leap of faith there was something so great waiting for him. Fortunately he did take that step and he was very glad he did! 
But imagine if he hadn't, and for us, we can't see the whole picture but imagine if we don't take that step, what are we missing out on? And I don't know about you but 'what' and 'if' are two very mind-torturing words when strung together.

Someone once said to me, if you ever get too comfortable it's time to move on, and that's a scary concept, but it's also the only way we can grow.

I want to end with a christian song lyric which says:
"Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander and my faith will be made stronger"

We really need to learn to take that dive, in big things like moving away from home, or starting a new job, or taking a chance on someone, or the smaller things, maybe starting a new hobby or a new routine or simply starting a conversation with someone. Because it's so amazing what happens when we do take that step, it's terrifying, sure, but amazing. 

Moving Day

Dear Reader, today was the day I stopped living at home full time, in simpler words: I moved out. It's been a day full of anticipation and the excitement of starting something new, however, it's also been a day of farewell...

Saying Goodbye is something I have never found easy, I don't think anyone finds it easy really. It's very tricky not to be sad about saying farewell, whether it's to friends or to family, and whether its only for a short period of time or if you don't know exactly when you might see them again. Because even though they may sometimes send you insane, it's impossible not to miss loved ones when they're not around. 

The best way to cope I have found, especially today, is not to think of the negatives, but to think of the positives, for example the next time we'll get to say hello, or all the stories to share when we next meet. Or perhaps the reasons for saying goodbye (they ought to be good otherwise what would be the point?) So for me I said "goodbye" in return for:

• Independence (defined: 'freedom from the control, influence, support, aid, or the like, of others')
  To me this means the chance to make mistakes and have to fix them without my parents (although that doesn't mean I won't be calling them with the occasional questions!) A chance to learn lessons, without a teacher, and the opportunity to discover more about myself in the "real world".
  
• Experience
  (defined: 'the observing, encountering or undergoing of things as they occur in the course of time, leading to gaining knowledge or practical wisdom')
  For me, although Ashby de la zouch has been a lovely place to grow up, the possible opportunities are slim, where I am now, however, there's a new experience around every corner. Different things to observe, new things to encounter and exciting things to undergo! As well as becoming a lot more streetwise and gaining knowledge about my new city, I will learn many more life long lessons that I will never forget!
  
• Relationships (defined: 'Connections, associations or involvements')In exchange for "goodbye"s, I get many more "hello"s. Though I will never forget those I love from home, and will remain close to them, there's so many more people to meet! New acquaintances, new friendships and new bonds to build with the people around me.

The truth is, "goodbye"s are full of sadness, but they also hold the promise of excitement because even though it's the end of a chapter, it's the beginning of a new one...

Tomorrow's the Day

"Courage is not the absence of fear, rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear, the brave may not live forever, but the cautious do not live at all. From now on you'll be travelling the road between who you think you are and who you can be, the key is to allow yourself to make the journey"

Dear Reader, welcome to my first Blog Post! I've decided to start a blog on the eve of a new chapter in my life, so here goes...

There is loads of story lines about a girl moving to the Big City and the adventures she comes across, so I'm going to see if that's in anyway true. I am moving to London tomorrow, a bit of a change from my small, historic market town that pretends to be beside the sea and milks any claim to fame it possibly can. (sorry for the dig Ashby de la zouch). I want to use this blog to write about my experiences and maybe to record any possible exciting adventures, but more likely to help me to figure out my place in the world and perhaps to help you reader to do the same or just to entertain you as I share this exhilarating and nerve-racking new chapter of my life with you, and Hey, if it's any good it may become a best-seller in your local bookstore one-day. 

The quote above is a quote I've known from my childhood, thanks to 'The Princess Diaries' and it came back to mind as my moving out day drew closer. A big change of leaving home, moving from a small town to a big city, starting a new job, a new course so many new things whether it feels terrifying or exciting it still takes courage to make that step of faith. This blog would have nothing to record if I wasn't brave enough to take the risk that I could just fall flat on my face. I'm titling this blog 'A New Chapter', because it's the next step for my life, and it's the beginning of a new journey, to a new place, to a new style of life where I'm going to make more mistake, learn more lessons and discover more about who I am.